在之前的两篇文章中,翻吧君一直在强调对于编译中文新闻的两个重要思路:理解中文的意思,而不要拘泥于中文的形式,要“重构”句子结构,甚至要“重构”整个段落以及篇章。
不过,由于英语是一门外语,如何实现用地道英语编译中文报道,对中国人来说,这是一个大挑战。这不仅需要上面所说的“思维重构”,同时也要在新闻专业写作上的长期训练。
对于进入英语的门槛,却非新闻专业的人来说,提高编译水平有一个相对比较好的方式,就是参考有相关的英文新闻报道,对照报道的角度以及表述的风格,甚至是措辞,来帮助自己改进编译。这在翻译里,可以称之为“回译”,但也不完全如此。
由于资讯的发达,对于一些大的新闻事件,全世界的媒体都会多多少少的报道。因此,在编译新闻的时候,可以搜索其他英文媒体的报道,查找到一些平行文本,这样就更好地的保证用词或措辞的准确性和地道。
我们以一段日本首相安倍的捐款丑闻的报道为例,来看看如何通过参与外媒的相关报道来增强英文的准确性和地道。中文来源于新华社的报道。
日本森友学园理事长笼池泰典23日在国会作证时重申,他从首相安倍晋三妻子安倍昭惠处收到“来自安倍晋三”的100万日元(约合6万元人民币)捐款,并表示在森友学园低价购得国有土地问题上“应该有政治性干预”。
如果就这一段进行编译,有可能会是如下:
Yasunori Kagoike, chairman of Moritomo Gakuen, reiterated to the Diet on March 23 that he had received 1 million yen ($8982) "from Shinzo Abe",via Akie Abe, the wife of Japan's Prime Minister. He also said "political influence was probably" behind Moritomo Gakuen securing a huge discount on purchasing public land.
如果我们上网搜索一下相关的新闻报道,可以从日本英文媒体上看到类似的内容——毕竟这是日本国内新闻,他们自己的英文媒体肯定是会报道的。如日本《每日新闻》的英文版就有一篇名为1 mil. yen Moritomo Gakuen deposit receipt connected to Abe donation claim emerges的报道,其中有如下一段:
Moritomo Gakuen President Yasunori Kagoike claims that hereceivedthe 1 million yendonationfrom Akie for a new elementary school that the operator planned to open in Toyonaka, Osaka Prefecture.
《日本时报》(Japan Times)的相关报道也直接提到这个事:
The headof scandal-tainted Moritomo Gakuen, Yasunori Kagoike, told a delegation of Diet members in Osaka Thursday that hereceived adonation from Prime Minister Shinzo Abe to help build an elementary school that promotes a nationalist education.
《朝日新闻》(Asashi)的一篇报道也有涉及这个内容:
A source who accompanied the Upper House members quoted Kagoike as telling the group: “In September 2015, when Akie Abe came to our school to give a speech, she said please use (this donationfor the school). I asked her who the money was from, and she said, ‘From Shinzo Abe.’”
英国《卫报》的报道文章也提及了这一句话中的内容:
The kindergarten operator testifiedto parliament that the first lady, Akie Abe,gavehiman envelopecontaining 1m yen (£7,100) and said it was from Shinzo Abe. The government denies the claims.
Yasunori Kagoike, president of the Moritomo Gakuen group, also said there “probably” was political influence behind it securing a huge discount on public land in Osaka earmarked for its proposed new school.
因此,可以看到,中文里的一些主要词语和意思,是能在上述三篇报道中找到相应的内容的,并可以作为参考:
1、理事长
这个词在英文报道中有不同的表达方式,如日本媒体president和head, 在另外一些报道中,也有使用chairman和principal的。在《卫报》的报道中,由于这个人是第一次出现,并没有直接写他的姓名,而是用 kindergarten operator 来指代。这应该是从读者并不了解这个人,因此用其身份而不是姓名来指代,这样更容易让读者了解其背景信息。
2、日本国会
英文里有一个专门的词汇来表达日本的国会,即National Diet,也可简写为the Dient。 在维基百科里,有对这个词的解释:
The National Diet is Japan's bicameral legislature. It is composed of a lower house called the House of Representatives, and an upper house, called the House of Councillors.
在日本媒体的英文报道中,基本上都是用Diet这个专用名词来指代日本国会,而在《卫报》里,第一次提到时,用是的parliement。
3、作证
从字面上来看,作证可以译成testimony, 或是testify. 如《卫报》所用的:testify。
不过,在新闻当中,不一定非得用如此”高深“的法律术语,可以简单地用told a delegate of Diet member,如三家日本媒体的文章中就是这么写的。
另外,如《卫报》在同一篇报道中,用了claim under oath.
a central figure claiming under oaththat the pair made a secret donation.
4、他从首相安倍晋三妻子安倍昭惠处收到“来自安倍晋三”的100万日元(约合6万元人民币)捐款
在日本媒体的报道中,是从他接受钱的角度来写的,如《每日新闻》是这样写的:
he receivedthe 1 million yen donation from Akie
《日本时报》写的是:
he received a donation from Prime Minister Shinzo Abe
《朝日新闻》没有转述,而是直接援引原话:
In September 2015, when Akie Abe came to our school to give a speech, she said please use (this donation for the school). I asked her who the money was from, and she said, ‘From Shinzo Abe.’
《卫报》则更为直接,从安倍夫人的角度来写的:
the first lady, Akie Abe, gave him an envelope containing 1m yen (£7,100)
5、捐款
英文里有donation,也可以使用更为具体的一个词组a piece of deoposit,这是因为新闻里的当事人否认是捐款,而是不具名的存款单据。
6、在森友学园低价购得国有土地问题上“应该有政治性干预”
在《卫报》的报道中有直接的参考:there “probably” was political influence behind it securing a huge discount on public land.
因此,可以在借鉴以上内容的基础上,对译文进行一定的修改:
Yasunori Kagoike, president of Moritomo Gakuen, reiterated to Diet on March 23 that he received 1 million yen ($8982) donation from Akie Abe, who said it from his husband, Japan's Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. He also said "political influence was probably" behind the school securing a huge discount on purchasing public land.
从上面这个例子来看,在新闻编译里,适当的参考外媒报道资讯,还是很有帮助的。
翻吧·与你一起学翻译
微信号:translationtips
长按识别二维码关注翻吧